I hadn’t realised this but, turns out, almost every emotion I feel, my face has been betraying the same expression. And also my skin. It has become a true deceiver in that, if I hide anything from my husband, he immediately knows. Damn it.
I was looking forward to getting away this weekend. I’d happily skipped out of home at six in the morning wearing my slippers and realised that I’d forgotten to carry my shoes altogether a good two hours into our drive. But it didn’t bother me for more than a few seconds. I was looking forward to walking around our estate at Somwarpet anyway.
The only little… okay, not that little. The only big concern I had was the heat. Thank you, migraine. Luckily for me, Vinay remembered to carry two caps 🙂 I am the absolute worst at remembering to pack for extra co-corricular activities for any trip. If you’re looking for someone who remembers to pack a separate snack bag, filled with chips, biscuits, leftover mithai you want to consume, juice-toos, I’m not your gal. I’m the one who once forgot to carry underwear to a beach vacation (Thank you, Motu :*) So. Coming back to the caps. Thank you, Tano :* I didn’t realise it until now, how much of a difference it made to my entire migraine-free weekend.
Off I went, wandering around the estate, wearing my cap, feeling every twig beneath the rubber slippers. Despite the sun, it was cool.
Crunching along a path my feet created trusting their own instinct, I roamed around. It’s easier to speak with a plant than a human. So I made sure I befriended as many touch-me-nots along my way as I could. When I finally found Vinay, he look around my face and said,”You’re glowing.”
On Monday morning, as we got ready, he asked, “Where is the glow?” Sure enough, I had managed to return with my worries, safely. Let’s spend some time on that. We all enjoy our weekend getaways. We spend quality time with friends, at places of our choice, doing things we like. We reconnect with whatever it was that was briefly missing.
With what do we return? When I walked among the trees, every big and small worry faded into the background for a brief while. As I bent over and observed the beautiful dewdrops that persistently sat on the baby banana leaf as the Sun tried to make its way between the gaps of the summer branches, everything was so calm. The dew chose to stay well beyond nine on a March morning of 2021. There ants chose to move over the wet brown leaves on a March morning of 2021. The koyal sang this tune on a March morning of 2021.
Maybe, we can too. Choose. I choose to get the car keys for the fifth time in a row even when Vinay forgets them upstairs every night and looks at me cutely because he has already worn his shoes. He chooses to run up hurriedly and retrieve the keys himself if I roll my eyes at him.
The moment he asked me where my glow had gone galavanting, I realised where. I knew what was bothering me on that Monday morning. And no, it wasn’t the keys this time. It isn’t just one thing is it? With some thought, I made a couple of meaningful choices and by the time Monday afternoon rolled by, sure enough, my glow had returned.